Yukis Big Book of Voodoo
by TectonicPlatez
Summary: When Yuki and Kakeru find a restricted section in the school library, they discover a big book of voodoo doll making. What will happen? What will Yuki and Kakeru do with their new book that actually works? This story is horrible, do not read it.
1. The Book!

Gabby-Chan: Welcome to my very first fan fic! I am the crazy creator! FEAR ME!!!!

Kyo: What kind of ass would fear you?

Gabby-Chan: You, of course bubble boy.

Kyo: Bubble boy? I could do better than that.

Gabby-Chan: Oh I can do better. I just want to keep it T+ rated.

Yuki: She has a good point.

Kyo: Rat boy, get your scrawny gay ass outta here!!!

Yuki: If your stupidity didnt block your sight, perhaps you would notice I am not gay you ignoramous.

Gabby-Chan: Guys, dont fight! Theres plenty of me to go around!!\par \par Both boys: ...

Gabby-Chan: Shutting up now.

Kyo: Thank god!

Gabby-Chan: Insult me one more time, Im gonna shove a friscotta down your annoying throat.

Kyo: What the hell is a friscotta?!?!

Gabby-Chan: On with the story!!!

It was a bright sunny morning on that fine Friday. The sunlight shown through the windows of Kaibara Schools library. The library was as silent as still air, and all the kids were scanning through various books.

Yuki, who was reading a VERY boring atoms book a few minutes ago, fell asleep. It is a fact almost ALL atoms books are boring. It is also a fact that whoever tries to read one in a day, falls asleep.\par All was normal even though Yuki was in his sleeping state. Nosy fan girls of that mass multi club of Yuki lovers secretly spied on their so called "prince" through the book isles. \par Yuki, who was completly unaware of all the unwanted attention, grown into a heavy sleep. Because all his senses were down, he did not notice the dark figure coming closer and closer towards Yuki.\par The figure placed an object by Yukis ear and-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNKKK!!!\par The blast banged and smashed against his eardrums like someone threw some dynamite down his ear. Immediatly, his defenses rose up and he elbowed the attacker from behind in the gut. The scream pierced through the silence as people ran out thinking someone was getting killed.

It was just Yuki and his attacker. Turning over, he saw Kakeru. "Not that much of a suprise." he thought glumly as he felt himself go deaf.

Kakeru fell over on the floor writhing in pain. (I would too if I was elbowed in the gut!) Yuki came over and helped him up.\par "Kakeru, what do you want?" asked Yuki asked annoyed. Kakeru looked extremely happy for some reason. "Yuki, you wont believe what I found in the library!!!" Kakeru dragged Yukis arm and pulled him all the way to the library teachers front desk. Apparently, she ran out with all the other kids.\par "Wow. A front desk." Yuki responded sarcastically. "Not just ANY front desk!" said Kakeru.

He pushed a button on the front desk computer that was big and red. Immediatley, the desk unraveled the carpet, floorboards, and some nasty green stuff , revealing stairs. Woah, some library that was.\par Yuki stood in awe as all that I just mentioned in the paragraph above me continued. "Cool, huh?" said Kakeru. Yuki just stood there. "Yuki?" said Kakeru. Yuki just stood there. Karkeru waved his hand in his paralyzed friends face.

Finally, Yuki spoke up. "That...was random..." he said. "Dont you get in awe yet! Just wait till you see whats downstairs!!!" Kakeru declared.

Yuki stared down the stairs which just lay darkness. It looked like a total hell hole. "Um... I dont think Id like to die yet Kakeru." he said.

Kakeru made his way down step by step. Turning back he said, "Cmon Yuki, no ones looking! This place is awesome! But, maybe a princess like you is too scared to go. Oh well..."

Yuki was determined to prove this guy that he was NO princess, that he was NOT scared, and that he would RIP the guys ear off as he led him down the stairs.

What dya think? SOrry bout the first chapter, I messed up there. But you want to know what Yuki and Kakeru are gonna do dont you? So read on... You MUST! YOU MUST!!! YOU CANT STOP YOURSELF!!! Hehehehe...


	2. Victim One: Kyo Sohma

Gabby-Chan: Welcome again!

Kyo: God, someone get me outta here!

Gabby-Chan: NEVER!!!

Kyo: Ill escape. One day.

Gabby-Chan: Thatll be when pigs fly.

Pig flies past Gabby Chan

Gabby-Chan: O.o I-That means nothing!!!

Kyo: Whatever...

Gabby-Chan: On forth with the story!!

As Yuki and Kakeru walked down the big medieval like staircase, they both felt a very bad feeling as they went deeper and deeper into the heart of the library.

"Look!" Kakeru pointed out. His finger led to a bolted door. "A door." said Yuki. "Thats it?" Kakeru nodded happily like he just found Bill Gates secret money stash.

"Well, whats behind it?" asked Yuki. Kakeru shrugged. "I never went in. I wanted to tell you before I went." Yuki sighed. It was just like Kakeru to take them down a deep dark staircase that lay beneath the library floorboards just to see a bolted door and wonder what layed behind it.

"Well, lets open it." said Yuki beginning to take off the bolt. "W-wait!" Kakeru said suddenly. "We dont know whats behind that door! It was bolted for goodness sakes!"

Yuki took off the bolt and threw it aside. Before he opened the door, he said, "Look, you arent going to drag me all the way down here just to see a rusty door. Im going in and thats final."

Pushing aside the door, they both stared as they began to take in what they saw. The room was super big and torches hung up on the walls to light the room. Thousands of books lay in shelves on the walls. There were rows and rows of books and wierd ancient looking signs lay all over the cieling. A chandelier was in the middle of it all.

Kakeru who took it all in faster than Yuki flailed his arns in the air and ran around screaming, "WOoOoooOOOOoohoOO!" As he disappeared in the book isles, Yuki thought to himself, "To think all this was under our own school library! This sure is a great find that Kakeru found. I wonder what kind of books are here...?"

Yuki made his way down the book isles and scanned through the book titles. There were, "100 Ways To Sacrifice" or

"The Ways to Excorcise Your Aunt" but nothing appealed to him until the one title his hand stopped over.

"The Ways To Do Voodoo" was the book Yuki took out. 'This looks interesting.' thought Yuki. Looking at the first page, he read the section out loud.

" The book you hold in your hands shall give you the power to master the ancient arts of voodoo. The only thing you have to do now is say the words below this section. The words contain a spell to give you all the dolls of people you know that you might like to do voodoo on. Treat them with care if they are loved ones. Put them through total chaos if hated. But most of all, take care to YOUR voodoo doll, for if you dont, the consequences could be truly fatal. Just say these words, and youll have the power. The words are- SHALLABALLGOGAGADINGDONG DOSI."

A number of things hit Yuki on the head which caused him to fall over. "Ow!" he groaned rubbing his head. He looked and noticed a number of dolls on the floor. They all looked exactly like the people they represented. There was a Tohru doll, an Ayame, a Momiji, a Hatori, a Kyo, a Arisa, a Hanajima, and plenty more.

Something else fell on Yukis head which turned out to be a box. Rubbing his head, Yuki was shocked. 'It worked?!' he thought. 'Wow, it really worked!' Yuki picked up the dolls and put them in the box. 'I dont want these to get damged...' he said to himself. Finally every doll but one was in the box. A cute little Kakeru doll lay on the floor.

'Maybe I should test it to see if it really works...' thought Yuki. Picking up the Kakeru doll, he hid the box and book in his schoolbag and called Kakeru. Kakeru came running and asked Yuki what was it. At that moment, Yuki stabbed his sharp nail in the Kakeru dolls arm.

"YOWW!!!" yelled Kakeru. He rubbed his arm. "Whats wrong?" asked Yuki trying to sound suprised and hiding his grin. Kakeru continued rubbing his arm. "My arm just got this jolt of pain! Man, it hurts." said Kakeru.

"Well, we should probably go." said Yuki. Kakeru made a puppy face. "Why? We just got here!" Yuki patted his friends shoulder. "We have to bolt the door and make sure nobody finds this place. "We dont want it confiscated or looted. Well come back Saturday when no one is here."

Kakeru nodded, still rubbing his arm. "I guess your right. But Saturday we come back okay?!" Yuki nodded and went back to the entrance. As Kakeru went up the stairs and he bolted the door, he said to himself, "This could be fun!"

Gabby-Chan: Oh no! Yuki has mastered the power of voodoo! Whos our little rats first victim going to be? READ ON TO FIND OUT!!! And before you do, press that little purple button on the bottom that says go and comment! NOW, GO FORTH AND READ!!!


	3. Kyo Exterminated

Gabby-Chan: Im so glad you readers like it, its my first fic!!

Kyo: I hope it will be your last.

Gabby-Chan: There are plenty more to come!

Kyo: Aauwgh!!!

Gabby-Chan: Hence forth with the story!

Yuki layed in his bed, replaying the events that went on that day in his mind. He didnt tell anyone at all. Why should he? He had an awesome amazing book that could help him take control of anyone or anything he wanted.

"Am I being wicked for liking this power to take advantage of people without them even knowing its me?" Yuki thought to himself. "No!" he thought. "Ill just keep them for two weeks. Just two..."

Yuki pulled himself out of bed hearing Tohrus polite calls for dinner. They had chicken fried rice, teriyaki, and an onigiri for a treat. Eating his food, it was noisy as usual. Shigure and Tohru talked while Shigure tried to slip some mean comments about Kyo in his sentences. Kyo, as perdictable as ever, threaghtened to hang Shigure on the roof.

"Ill smash you in the walls you stupid dog!!" said Kyo. "Id like to see you try." said Yuki annoyed with the noise. Kyo turned and with his fist up, he nearly shouted, "You want a piece of me?! Bring it ya dirty rat!"

Yuki said nothing. He didnt have to. Kyo and his threaghts never really affected Yuki much. He just continued eating.

Too bad Yuki didnt know that Kyo had cooked up a little plan in his brain to show Yuki he wasnt playing with him anymore. Yuki found out later on Kyos, "Master Plan".

On his way to his little garden, Yuki found a number of his plants ripped out from the ground. First, I shall describe Yukis reaction. His blood turned cold. Then his head twisted in all sorts of evil devious way. Then he immediatley went to the point where he held Kyos voodoo doll in his hand and a pin in the other.

Yuki didnt just only want to hurt Kyo very badly, he wanted to see it, so he peered over the egde of the roof at Kyo as he silently stared at the stars.

'Payback time.' were the two words that flashed through Yukis mind. He gently poked the pin at the Kyo dolls forhead just to see if it worked.

Immediatly, Kyo smashed his hand to his forhead rubbing it like an imaginary pin poked it. Yuki was so happy, that his dolls worked, for now he could finally pay Kyo back for everything. With no mercy, the rage filled rat poked the sharp pin in the Kyo dolls side.

Kyo shouted out in pain and wrapped his arm around his waist. Pleased with results, Yuki poked the pin in the dolls forhead deeply. Kyo screamed again shoving his palms at his forhead. Yuki thought he should do something more painful so he stuck the pin in the dolls mouth, its arms, legs, cheek, and thighs. The last two places to poke were...' The crotch and anol...' thought Yuki. A smile spread across his face. Veagance would be his! Without mercy, he shoved the pin straight up the dolls anol.

Now, you people could imagine Kyo screaming like bloody hell, or shouting a curse word to the world, which he did do. But the most ear piercing thing was the scream that flowed from his mouth which went, " AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUU

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

Yep, Yuki miraculously didnt become deaf after that. The last place. ' Let this day be known, that I, Yuki Sohma, stuck Tohrus sharpest sowing pin up a Kyo Sohma voodoo dolls crotch.' Yuki thought to himself. Beautiful sweet victory swallowed up Yukis mind as the pin went up the dolls manhood.

Kyo, poor Kyo, grasped his head nearly pulling out alll his hair in his frenzies of pain and fell off the edge of the roof. With a thud, Yuki looked at his fallen victim and grinned.

" So many victims to exterminate, so little time..."

Gabby-Chan- Gah! Yuki went to the dark side!

Kyo: Twitches from pain.


	4. Victim: AYAME

Gabby-Chan: Sorry its SO late, its just Im lazy.

Kyo: You sure are...

Yuki: I have to admit, she is right.

Gabby-Chan: THE NEXT VICTIM SHALL BE...!!!!!!!

AYAME

"Hello Yuki, my sweet!" Ayame said beautifully when Yuki opened his door to see his brother there. Yuki groaned.

"Why are you here? What do you want? Why are you in a amazingly short MAID DRESS?!?!" Yuki hollered. Ayame smiled broadly. "You like it?" he asked, turning around and swirling the maidd skirt a little TOO high.

Yukis face went green. "Oh god...!" he thought before he fell over. Ayame, unaware of the damge he had just done to Yukis mind, dragged him out of his room and took him to LAVORS PHOTO STUDIO.

WHen Yuki woke up, he was-was-was-"WHY AM I IN A BUNNY SUIT FOR GIRLS?!?!" Yuki screamed in horror. Ayame floated around the room dancing fabulously. "Well," he began. " I was offered an oppertunity to star in a cross dressing photo shoot and I needed a relative to star with me in the photo shoot and you were the first person to pop up in my glamerous head! Now, I already got that photo of you in the bunny suit, so put on the Playboy maid dress!"

Yuki tried to claw his way from Ayames clutches, but when it came to seeing Yuki in an skanky maid outfit, Ayames strength doubled times 100. WHAT A SIGHT IT WAS!!!! Black leather thigh high go go boots, elbow long white gloves, a cute little maid cap, a very small, yet frilly black and white skirt, and a top that was like a tube top, but BETTER! (Gawd, the image in my mind is making my nose begin to bleed...) Yuki wriggled and squirmed so much, Ayame had to tie him up. "You look FABULOUS!!!" squealed Ayame. Yuki made an evil face. " I. LOOK. LIKE. A. SKANKY. SEX CRAZED. WHOOR!!" He hissed.

Ayame pulled out a camera. "Say cheese!" he smiled. Yuki toppled over and tried to escape by wriggling like a caterpillar to the door. Ayame caught him and took countless pictures of him in, kimonoes, maid outfits, bunny suits, stripper outfits, THE WONDERFOUL NICENESS!!!!!! Oops, sorry, thats me the author speaking!

Yuki finally escaped like six hours later. " Ayame will PAY!!!" he screamed holding a clenched fist in the air. READ ON.

Gabby-Chan: You guys had better be thankful that Im writing this, I had to sneak cuase my mom banned me from computer for a year. Please keep on making reviews so my moms email will be filled with fanfiction stuff and shell HAVE to let me back on. In the mean time, Ill continue sneaking my way getting on! Remember, this is all for you!


	5. Ayame Exterminated

Gabby-Chan: And so...THE EXTERMINATION!!!

Terminator Dude: You shall be extermineted!

Gabby-Chan: BRING IT ON robot-man-killer-thingy...

Terminator Dude: HERE I COME!!!!

Kyo: Um, you guys just read the story while they fight...

Yuki: And the disclaimer is-!AAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!

Kyo: You forgot about that shocky thing that Gabby strapped to your leg.

Yuki: The disclaimer is-AAAAAAGHHH-ILL STOP, OK?!?!

Kyo: He meant the CLAIMER not DISCLAIMER.

Yuki: She and Natsuki Takaya own own us-AAAAAAAAAAAGGH!!!!!

Kyo: Yeah...OK, story time!

Yuki frantically searched for the voodoo box with all the dolls and Kyos scissors. 'Ayame will pay!!!!' Yuki screamed mentally. Getting out the Aya doll, Yuki raised his pair of scissors high in the air.

His last minute thoughts wer, 'You think your so PERFECT huh?! Well think AGAIN!!!' Yuki dashed the scissors toward the Aya dolls head. In a flash, the scissors pierced the silvery hair, making it all flow to the floor.

WHERE AYA WAS

Ayame was at the store with Hatori showing off his looks to all the shoppers who really didnt want to see his looks. While Aya was twirling around, Hatori noticed silvery hair fly out in all directions.

"Ayame?"

"Yes Tori-chan?"

"Your hair is falling out."

" Nonsense it never falls out!"

"Check and see for yourself then."

Ayame ran his finger through his hair. Surely his hair wasnt falling otu! Was it...? Pulling his long creamy fingers from his hair, Aya saw bunches of balls of HIS hair. Silence struck. Then...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Aya pulled at his hair so much, in just a few seconds, it was up to his neck. The rest lay on the store floor. Staring at his fallen hair, he went into a drmatic drama kingish rage and ran all over the store tipping over things, pushing down shelves, stuffing his hair in unaware mothers faces. He went over to the cashier and dumped a can of tomatoes over his head. He went to a baby and threw it out the window, which, thankfully it broke its fall on Hatoris head.

Then in like the longest speech ever in the history of time, AYame spouted out his speech. I would type it down but, I am MUCH too lazy to do so. In a sudden moment, Aya fell over and a pool of blood suddenly formed around his head and his brains and guts spit out and other crap like that.

"Cleanup on isle four!" rang through the store.

YUKIS ROOM

"Bwoogie ha ha ha ha!!! That was fun, but it looks like I cut a bit TOO close. Oh well! I have the power now!!! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA-cough, hack- HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!


	6. Victim Three: HARU

Gabby-Chan: Youve all been waiting for it!

Yuki: WHa...?

Gabby-Chan: The NEXT VICTIM IS...!

Yuki: You know, I feel sort of uncomftarble with the idea Im hurting my family members...

Gabby-Chan: Oh but Yuki, this one isnt your family...Its...INUYASHA!!!

Yuki:...Hes not even from the same show dumbass...

Gabby-Chan: Oh...NEW PLAN!!! The Next victim is...HARU...

Yuki: You said this one wasnt my family.

Gabby-Chan: I said that to trick the readers that it was gonna be Tohru. Im saving something special for her...

Yuki: Ill never hurt-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHH!!!!

Gabby-Chan: It seems someone forgot about the shocky strap I tied around their leg...

Kyo: Shes evil...Oh well, just start the damn story...

The next day, Yuki happily walked off to Kiabara highschool thinking that nothing could go wrong-until Haru came up.

As he turned the corner, he waved at Yuki and caught up with him. "Hey Yuki." he said. Yuki turned, and noticed Haru had a sad look on his face.

"H-Haru whats wrong?" Yuki asked his cousin. Haru shrugged. "You know how Rin had dumped me right?" Yuki nodded. "Well," Haru continued. "I tried to talk to her, but she said she hated me with every ounce of matter composed in her body. She started to get to get voilent so I left, but she turned into a horse out of sheer weakness and kicked me in the arm with her hoof. See?"

Haru showed Yuki his arm and it had a large hoof print. Yuki gasped. "Haru, I think you should get that looked at." Yuki said.

His cousin nodded his head. "No way, I dont care if it gets infected anyway. If I showed Hatori, he would tell Akito and Rin would get in trouble for attacking Akitos "loved ones" as he calls us."

Yuki turned from Harus wound and looked ahead. "Why are you telling me?"

"I want you to help me get her back."

"Get her back...?"

"You know, make her pay for what she did."

"Why would you do that, wouldnt that crush her feelings for you?"

"Hell yeah. The way I want it. Shes so obsessed with the cure that..."

"That what?"

"She forgot what shes doing it for. She forgot me..."

"Oh..."

Yuki thought. He always did like Haru over Rin so why not? "Sure Ill help you, but how do we do it?" he asked. Haru thought for a moment. Then he said "Make a baby with me."

"WHAT?"

"Make a baby with me. Some guys can do it, including the men in the Zodiac."

"Haru, even if it is possible, Im not having a kid. I cant take care of one!!!"

"We just put it up for adoption."

" HARU NO."

"Well, at least let me fondle you in Rins room so when she comes in-!"

"NO WAY."

"Cmon Yuki! Pretty please with evil on top?"

"Haru Im not gay!"

"You arent, but I am bisexual so-!"  
"NOOO!!!!!!"

"Dammit Yuki, its just fondling! I wont be your first!!!"

"I SAID NO! I AM NOT HELPING IN THIS!!!"

" Well, theres only one option left."

"Which is...?"

"We set the bitch on fire."

"..."

"Well?"

"Im in!"

Haru made a hot victory jig and he an Yuki ran off to cause chaos.

Gabby-Chan: TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!


End file.
